I hear my dad and his girlfriend arguing in the next room. I feel some confusion stirring up in the air. They are clearly fighting over something while trying to keep their voices down.
“Soma, you like music, right”, my dad’s girlfriend asks rather shyly. “Your dad and I have two free tickets to the Michael Jackson concert, and we were wondering if we should let you go with one of us”, she adds.
It’s like someone somewhere had heard into the most private part of my mind and uncovered my biggest secret. Did they know how much I wanted to see Michael Jackson? Did they even know how much this meant to me; how monumental this was?
Did they know that when the world hurts too much and no one wants to play with me after school, I go to Michael? A place where magic is possible.
THIS was pure magic! How did Michael know to come to a small city in the middle of “nowhere”? How did he know that I was here?
Yes, yes, yes! I had to be at this concert! I had been obsessively listening to Michael’s songs and studying his music videos, storytelling and dance moves for several years now. I know that on the outside I look like a 10-year-old little girl, but on the inside, I was ready for this!
“No, I believe you are too young for these types of events. We’ll take you when you are a bit older”, these strangers that call themselves my parents decided.
They don’t understand. The next time will never come! I know this in my heart of hearts! It is now or never! I cry and try my best to translate my broken heart into words that seem too bulky and gross to contain emotions and knowing this delicate.
Shocked by my parents' nonchalance, I swallowed this bitter betrayal, not knowing that in exactly 16 years I would get my redemption.
THE ONE THAT WAS MEANT TO BE
I pick up my phone and I hear my partner’s excited voice at the other end: “I have some bad new and some great news! I got only one ticket, but I’m giving it to you! You have to go!”.
What is he talking about?
Turns out that Prince is in town, and somehow – I don’t know how – I have totally missed this. There are no tickets available anywhere, which is not surprising.
With an almost arrogant certainty in my tone, I tell my partner that “No, we will both go. There will be a ticket for me – I can feel it”.
My partner tries to prepare me for what seems to be an unavoidable disappointment, but I’m convinced. There must be a way in.
We are walking towards the outdoors festival venue escorted by the beautiful evening summer sun rays of Stockholm. My partner is speaking out loud and mentally preparing himself to be left on the wrong side of the entry gate. “You go Soma, and I’ll listen from the outside. I know this is way more important to you than it is for me.”
“Shush...listen to the guy in front of us!”, I say.
Two steps ahead of me is man talking to a friend on the phone. I can’t piece together the whole story, but it is clear that someone might not be coming. This is my chance and the heightened heart palpitation and the sweat on my back is confirming my intuition!
I muster all the courage I have in me and approach the stranger in front of me. He tells me that he will NOT sell the ticket and instead asks me if I could tell him a little about myself. Tell him about myself!? What is this!?
I tell him that I make music and that I’ve just permanently moved to Stockholm from Helsinki. I tell him that I’m not a social butterfly and don’t usually go out to concerts, since it can be a bit too much for my personal nervous system. I tell him that this is not about a concert, and that this is about a deeper connection.
We spend the last minute walking side by side in silence.
As we get to the gate, he hands me a wristband. I insist on paying but he assures me that he doesn’t want to sell the ticket. I promise to buy him a beer when we get inside, and he seems happy with that solution.
As I hold the wristband and compare it to my partner’s ticket, I get a little worried. Mine looks different from his.
My partner starts laughing and shouts “Holy shit Soma, you got the VIP ticket!”
/ SOMA
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